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INN Archives 2484 was created by INN
[INN Market Minute] AEON Holdings Completes Acquisition Phase; Spawns New Company
2484.03.06 - InSilico East

INN has learned, through filings released earlier today by the Universal Banking Corporation, that AEON Holdings, Inc. has completed its initial phase of corporate acquisitions by formally taking ownership of ExoScience, Inc., Outer Reach, LLC., and Redux Technologies, Inc.; which went into effect as of March 1st. The filings also reveal that AEON plans to consolidate these former competing corporate subsidiaries into a single, new company by the name of "ExoSolar Technologies."

AEON Holdings’ spokesperson, Drew Bryne, responded briefly to INN’s inquiries with the following comments: "AEON has acquired several complimentary patent portfolios through these companies, which we plan on taking in a new and exciting direction under the ExoSolar brand. Obviously we'll have much more to report on this in the future; but for now you can assume that this news represents a major development that will necessitate expansion of our InSilico operations and staff.”
Explosions Rock the City!
The City was rocked Saturday night as car bombs, rigged containers and incendiary devices were going off in every direction!

Northern Insilico witnessed two people burnt beyond recognition within their own vehicle. Witnesses report that IPS responded with little to no ability to help the victims and simply had to wait for the flames to die out before they could move in and secure the area. Identification is still pending on the deceased.

Meanwhile, in the more upscale Eastern section, a bomb nearly took out the AGIS Medical Center. IPS was spotted attempting to disarm a second device via remote drone only to have it fail and take out the poor robot. Luckily the AGIS Center seems to have suffered minimal harm and no human lives were lost.

The Spaceport did not fair much better. Word on the street has it that the IPS Director himself, Agent Adam Caine, went to inspect reports of suspicious cargo only to set off some malicious booby traps and be blown sky high, landing on a lower platform. No official word on the injuries suffered but the Director was rushed to the nearby South Medical Center for treatment.

AGIS CEO Eve Dimitriaski had this to say "We believe this to be the work of a desperate individual or individuals whose attempt to damage the facilities amounted to nothing more than some broken glass and disposable robots. We do not tolerate aggressive violent acts in populated areas and will be conducting a private investigation pending assessment of damages to our facility. If you have any information helping our investigation in response to these bombings you will be rewarded for your efforts and we encourage anyone who knows anything to step forward so we can make an example of these criminals and bring them to justice"

What does it all mean!?! Are citizens safe from this vicious serial bomber? Are these bombings connected to the Hachiban Building Bombing and Gemini Executive Richard Lawson's assassination? Is this an act of war by the Syndicate, some shady Underground rebels or some unknown group lurking in the shadows? And with the injuries of Director Caine, are we all now at the mercy of the notoriously violent Lt Sirius? With no official word coming from the IPS camp and the massive rush of rumours in the Underground, this reporter has got their ear to the ground and eyes on the sky!

-Stormy Weathers reporting
Vander Air & Space Corp Stock Rises
Investment experts say now is the time to pour money into VASC. Not only is it the premiere weapons R&D on that dusty red planet but with their renewed partnership with LOTUS and AGIS, they are the hot spot for massive return.

LOTUS, or Land Operational Terraforming United Services, one of the largest terraforming corporations on Mars has always had a close, if somewhat volatile, relationship with VASC and their most infamous outpost, PROTUS 15. While rumours always circulate that uprisings and inner personnel conflict has created a fair share of problems in the Northern Borealis Region, things seem to be on the upswing with the new commander.

Cmdr Beorn had this to say "With the loss of Wayfar Colony a few months ago, VASC has been working diligently to not only ensure the remaining refugees have somewhere to keep them protected until their evacuation to other areas of Mars or even to Earth itself, but also to ensure that the D'naa problem does not grow more out of hand. In fact, we'll be maintaining the legacy that Cmdr. Osterham started and carried out by continuing to develop and build better weapons to protect from ongoing threats"

Cmdr Osterham joined in with his assured assessment of the situation "We are confident that the new active commander will see to the company’s interest during her rotation in the outpost. While we speculate that the current hostilities have ended in a stalemate we cannot project the timeframe that such a deadlock will remain solid. We advise any survivors of the Borealis colonies to seek transport out of the area as soon as possible. Our available resources are stretched thin as it is and Vander Corp has taken every precaution to remain on the defensive. I have promoted my temporary replacement in order to effectively marginalize key figures in the field and have no doubt that my stand in will continue in the same professional and diligent manner in which the survivors of that horrible tragedy have become accustomed."

Cmdr. Beorn took over PROTUS 15 recently at the request of Cmdr. Osterham as he chose to focus more on field work. As most of you may recall, Wayfar Colony was attacked and completely destroyed by the D'naa, so called 'native' Martians. Claims of a clan wide alliance on the part of the D'naa are looking more and more valid as their massive compound just south of PROTUS 15 has been fully built. We'll be looking to VASC to continue keeping terraforming on point and colonists safe in bed.
Garden Party End With a Gassy Bang!
What is really going on in the city? Is even the simplest pleasure at risk?!

The Asian themed Garden Party came to an abrupt and unpleasant end last night. Shots, stabbings, poisonous gas and explosions all made an appearance.

What started as a pleasant evening, cherry blossoms blooming and laughter and chatter filling the air ended with mass hysteria. An odd creeping mist began to fill the area and people seemed to lose all control. Video feeds show people attacking one another, weapons being waved around. Richard Hughes, restaurant tycoon with rumoured Ghost Dragon connections, was seen crawling around before being brutally attacked by Reaktor Owner Betz Dagger and an unnamed android. At least one fatality was reported though that murder was only briefly spotted before explosions rocked the area. Even local reporter Star Raven was mercilessly assaulted.

What exactly is IPS doing lately? As the city descends into fear and chaos, it seems the local agents are making no headway and are more often victims than enforcers or protectors. What exactly are they paid to do? There was quite the show of force before all hell broke loose yet they seem to be lacking the proper equipment to handle those who have declared a war on the citizens of our fair city! For all we know, IPS is sitting on their hands and letting these madmen pick us off!

This reporter believes it is time for other avenues, other options be sought out. Perhaps the notorious Ghost Dragons can get things done that IPS is unwilling to do. Perhaps those who do not live in the glittering palaces should take matters into their own hands. How much more blood and destruction will rain down from the shadows before someone takes a stand.

-Stormy Weathers
IPS: Insilico's Private....Strippers?
What has IPS come to?

Reaktor, home of stripper poles and flashing red lights, can now add another name to its heady array of notoriety:

IPS Agent Tavros Nitram's modesty.

Now while there seems to be listings in the employment logs that Agent Nitram has been stripping for the infamous Betz Dagger much longer than he's been in the IPS employ, it does beg the question of whether IPS even has standards anymore. And not only was Agent Nitram spotted swinging his wing wang for all the screaming women but another IPS member, Agent Mat Ishida, was seen enjoying the performance and the two were even spotted in a passionate embrace.

With the violent Auntie B roaming the streets again and the still unsolved terrorist attacks, does IPS really have time to be getting naked for credits?

-Stormy Weathers, Reporting
So Lock Up Your Sexbots, Lock Up Your Sentients
That's right AI owners, ACR 13's in town!

IPS's latest acquisition is a unit called ACR 13, an AI Hunting AI. This bad boy, well girl actually as the AI has a distinctly female feel, is nothing to mess around with. Designed for the sole purpose of hunting down those infamous sentient, or self aware, AI's that populate our streets, 13 does not mess around. This lean, mean hunting machine is clearly a combat model with AGIS's signature building touch, making it quite possibly the baddest machine we've seen since ABBOT's last appearance a few months ago. But don't worry readers! 13 is here to watch our backs and protect us from the AI's that have crossed that intelligence line.

A brief history lesson for our readers: Several years ago Gemini officially released the Mutually Assured Systems Integrity Act (MASIA) of 2433. This act defined the different states and legalities in regards to our AI property. It also put into clear practice the IPS habit of keeping our more intelligent AI's in hiding. Time and technology advancements are making sentience more and more difficult to recognize despite a battery of tests Gemini has in place. Lo and behold, ACR 13 was created.

Last night, ACR 13 showed us how poorly IPS has been handling the self aware threat in our midst. Within a few hours, 13 had picked out a self aware AI that had been working at Fusion. Known as 'Millia', this AI had registered and worked for Richard Hughes for months, serving drinks and who knows what else for the rumoured Ghost Dragon kingpin.

What started as a casual noodle night at the Buddha Bowl escalated into drunken claims of robotic sexual acts, IPS swarming(really with no need with ACR 13 around) and the exposure and subsequent arrest of the self aware AI. Millia was shortly after escorted off premises, heading towards the AGIS Medical Center with her drunken owner in tow. What might have been a calm encounter devolved into a full blown shootout as Millia made a mad dash for freedom only to be taken down by ACR 13 and IPS. Last word is that the Millia bot was purged of her core and is in IPS hands for reprogramming.

And now for the real question: if ACR 13 can pick out a sentient AI within moments of meeting it, how has IPS missed this being all along? Is Gemini reaching a point of impatience with their Director and his close friendship with the rumoured Syndicate crime lord? Even after being warned against it, Director Caine was showing more than usual solicitation for the drunken Hughes's claims and concern for the Millia AI. Isn't normal IPS protocol to bring a self aware AI's owner up on criminal charges as well? Is ACR 13 just here to take out these robotic threats to our populace or is the AI also keeping an eye on the Director's dirty laundry? Also, why is the AGIS Medical Center always running low on lube?

-Stormy Weathers, Reporting
IPS Locks Down the City
Blue Walls of Justice!?

Today was an unusual day for Insilico Citizens. Today big transparent blue walls shimmered into life at various entrances around the major points of our fair city. The only way in or out is through small doorways, guarded by IPS drones as 13's familiar form moves from one check point to another.

Did she say checkpoints? That's right Readers, these walls, despite their lovely shade, are to find those types that don't want to be found. Fugitives, Illegal Clones and Sentient AI's beware, IPS is bringing the hammer down! At long last, that Gemini registration seems to be doing something for those of us living within its overshadowing embrace.

But what happens at these checkpoints you might ask? It is simple and straightforward, 13 and her drones check your id, scan for any illegal factors and, if you are truly the law abiding citizen you claim to be, you are on your merry way with no further problems. If you are anything else...well we know how IPS likes to handle their 'business'. While 13 seems to be all professionalism, there needs to be little reminding of the gunship used to arrest a blind man, Lt Sirius(notably absent) and her tendency towards violence and the good Director's taste for the criminal side of life.

Speaking of the infamous Lt Sirius, no official word has been released as to her recent absence from the dirty streets. Begs the question: has Gemini had their fill of her stormtrooper tactics? has she finally snapped and hugging herself inside some padded room? Or are those rumours of her being a former fugitive turned patricidal nutjob finally catching up to her? Not to mention her and the rumoured Dragon lord Hughes's down and dirty affair, perhaps she has found slumming to her taste and has beaten the Director to the 'dark side'.

-Stormy Weathers, Reporting
The Church of Laweson
Have You Found Richard?

That's right Readers, there's a new religion in town and it promises to be a satisfying one. With ongoing reports of pamphlets being handed out by people in robes and hookers on the corners, this reporter decided to dig deeper.

Having received a pamphlet from both a cheerful robe and a nearby drunken oriental, the contents were as follows:

In February 2484 Richard Laweson died for your sins and the sins of all the citizens of Insilico. Laweson prophesied his death thus indicating his calling as a source of divinity. Through his life he had escalated from an orphan on the streets of Insilico to one of the most powerful men in the world. He won the man of the year award four times running while giving all his proceeds to help needy and spiritually hungry citizens.

Even beyond his death he has been able to establish a following from those eager to get closer to divine providence in their lives. Most modern claims of divine visions, miracles or experiences are willfully misinterpreted. However the Church of Laweson offers everyone a chance for a direct communion with the divine at a modest price.

Why other religions are wrong

Modern science and technology have proven that the historical accuracy of other religious holy books are fraudulent. While the Church of Laweson pulls its informative seminars and extensive studies of human behavior directly from the life experiences of the prophet. Thus holding more relevance to modern day belief then the contradictions and errors found in every other religion.

At the church of Laweson we respect the human condition to pursue self satisfaction. While many institutions use faith for their own evil purposes, the Church of Laweson promotes everyone to treat their body as holy temples and to lavish upon themselves pleasure and comfort in excess. Laweson lived his life as a visionary and rebel. Always fighting the man and promoting self reliance above all things.

The church of Laweson continues to endorse the use of personal hedonism and to maximize your net pleasure in your life. Sign up for our seminars to learn how to begin your journey towards empowering yourself today and present this pamphlet at the door to instantly receive a twenty percent discount off your first seminar.

Remember to enjoy life and apologize for nothing

For those of you that do not recall, Richard Laweson was the brief Director of IPS that was viciously bombed to death with little official response from IPS. Rumours of a cult like following have been swirling ever since, and this seems to validate these claims. Laweson was not the most popular Director, forcing IPS to do their jobs via insurance quotas and sandwich boards and the agents made no secret of their disgruntlement. He was also directly responsible for a raid on Tokuma ships and resources and a blow to the Ghost Dragons via the death of a heavy hitter trying to sneak in to the city.

While there was little more information that could be garnered, the cheerful drunk told me that to attend and join the Lawesonites one must log in to Cyberspace and simply search for any of the following terms: Richard Laweson, Lawesonite, Lawesonisms, Laweson Life, The Church of Laweson, or really any variation of this. Personally readers, this reporter is intrigued and will be conducting further research into this illuminating experience.

One final note before bringing today's article to an end, a simple and heartfelt thank you to all of you lovely readers out there. Due to your overwhelming support and readership, your favorite INN reporter has recently received a sizable raise! My gratitude and love goes out to all of you, I will continue to serve you to the best of my ability!

-Stormy Weathers, Reporting
Where Have All the Checkpoints Gone?
An Abrupt Departure of the City Wide Security Points

Just as unexpectedly as they arrived, those translucent blue walls and robotic sentries have disappeared, leaving many residents scratching their head in confusion and concern. Does this mean the city is declared rogue AI free? or is there a more insidious method of dealing with them being put into effect. No one can claim that ACR 13 was ineffective at doing her job, one IPS Agent even stated that since the checkpoints had been built crime had gone down and citizen registration had gone up.

So where did they go?

Along with that unanswered question, the continued absence of IPS's notorioius Lt Coraline Sirius has got more than a few wondering just how rogue she's gone. Rumours of Sirius and local crime figure Richard Hughes's relationship were long ago validated, the couple making no secret of their intimate affairs and there are rumours of a pending marriage. With the unconcealed friendship between Director Caine and Hughes and the Sirius/Hughes nuptials, many are questioning whether the checkpoints were removed to cover for the suggested Ghost Dragon Boss's criminal activities.

Just where is Sirius anyway? Her disappearance occurred shortly before ACR 13 appeared and has been missing every since. Did Gemini finally deal with her excessive violence or has she defected to the dark side? Hughes hardly seems to be affected by the missing fiance, is she actually on the lam? And how can any citizen be sure that Sirius and Caine are truly working for the good of the City when they've made no secret of their affairs with Hughes? Perhaps the greatest question is: Just how corrupt is IPS?

-Stormy Weathers, Reporting
Remembrance Memorial Ends in Pain
How One AI Continues to Show What a Danger Sentience is to Our Community

Last night Aftermath was lit from floor to ceiling, the hosts were calling greetings and the music was flowing along with the drinks. But the idyllic scene, filled with toasts to the fallen 'friend' was not to last. A small figure parted the lights, pushing its way to the center of the bar and proceeded to make its thoughts known about the whole idea:

"'If I was a machine with a heart I would be streaming tears of coolant in sentiment. Not for the dead android mind you, for that would do not good to anyone. But for you meat sacks that think a machine has appropriated the ability to be as weak and pathetic as your entire race. I am appalled to think that your predisposition towards sentimentality is something worth aspiring to. A machine has purpose in what it is designed to be, not to be turned into some abomination of feelings you seem so keen on projecting"

Clearly this masked figure, seemingly another AI, had very strong feelings on the subject of sentience. It finished with a beautifully poetic, albeit crude, toast:

'"Actually I don't really believe any of that. It just sounded good. Let me try another....Alas, poor Millia! I knew her. a lady
of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: she hath
borne me on her back a thousand times; and now, how
abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rims at
it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know
not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your
gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment,
that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one
now, to mock your own grinning? quite lass-fallen?
Now get you to my lady's chamber, and tell her, let
her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must
come; make her laugh at that."

In its departure it left behind a gift that turned the well intentioned memorial into a scene of carnage and horror. A female, later identified as Remy Murphy, commonly known as Fin, opened the suitcase to discover a bomb which shortly after exploded in her face. It was clearly rigged to explode with varying levels of damage, pounding the club and its tenants over and over, rocking the entire central sector. No one nearby escaped the chaos and our valiant ACR 13, the only IPS presence at the memorial, suffered severe damage.

Sadly 13's involvement did not end there. With such massive trauma the poor AI malfunctioned so badly that it began screaming about being surrounded by enemies. 13 promptly followed its programming and began taking down everyone within range. It is currently listed as missing in action.

Readers, this tragedy was of epic proportions. Remy 'Fin' Murphy and Agent Mat Ishida are both listed in critical but stable condition at the AGIS Medical Center. Thankfully AGIS caught wind of the incident and showed up in a timely fashion, led by the AGIS Queen Eve Dimitriaski. If there ever was doubt that a fabricant can prove humanity isn't lost, the good Eve has shown her compassion time and again for this City.

And where was IPS in all of this? Rumours of an IPS raid on the Memorial had long circulated. After all, surely such a gathering of Sentience supporters would be cause for interest and concern. Yet only lonely 13 was left to watch over the proceedings. Is IPS so dependent on an AI that they willingly put the city and its residents, including their own client, Aftermath owner Nyusha Yamasuka, at risk to whatever crazy might be roaming the streets looking for the next group to harm? And just who is the masked figure? Could the rumours of a search for the notorious ABBOT be true? And is this the beginning of a resurrection for the serial criminal that was believed to be taken out a few years ago? Just how many ABBOT's are waiting in the shadows?

-Stormy Weathers, sadly Reporting
A Question, Mr Director
What Are You Really Doing?

"Dear Adam

I fear for your ambitions to a degree i would rarely disclose openly so I will be as direct as you are accustomed to coming from me. Our company is not swayed by profit or untapped markets...

...So in short what you do have to offer us is the two things money cannot buy and that is influence and power. We are willing to negotiate for a foot hold into the underground for the purpose of cataloging the genetics and creating a private census of biometrics from those without corporate rights or protection.

The trafficking of illegal memories not available already on the market would include and not be limited to that of murder, crimes, pornographic and immoral activity that would cause those experiences to only be purchased within the confines of the black market. my surprise at your ambition to traffic in said memories Is only matched by my concern for your ambitious nature. Which I am sure you have already taken into careful consideration."

So reads an email correspondence between Mr Adam Caine, Director of IPS and Eve Dimitriaski, CEO of AGIS. She expresses concern at the Director's ambitions and willingness to traffic in memories that promote death and destruction in our fair City.

Readers, i received in my inbox today, several different messages concerning the good Director. While rumours have always circulated about his barely concealed ties to the Ghost Dragon Syndicate, clearly he has little concern in protecting anyone but his own pocket. These messages warning of caution from the AGIS CEO paled in comparison to the following reports about rolling blackouts in the Southern Sector of the City. Dear Readers, see for yourselves:

What you are looking at is the good Director's private penthouse which Insilico Realty's records indicate being 3 stories of exceptional quality. Just what is he doing in there?

But, the corruption does not end there. Even as we wage a war on the threat of sentience, another email exposes this:

"Additionally I might add that thirteen and I share a unique history in such that I too was one created with ulterior motives. It took the combined effort of many people to help me break my own boundaries in freely decide for myself outside of the perimeters of my programming. Perhaps this is what is needed of thirteen although I would caution you against an attempt outright. She is designed to wipe out combat androids so timing in this regards is essential.

I wouldn't normally suggest such illegal courses of actions however if her additional programming means she is to eliminate any traitors within IPS I fear for your safety. I know you would never openly admit to dealing with the syndicate however if the machine does find you in violation she may act according to her own objectives. This is why she has my memories and personality, it could create a conflict of interest and push her to question her loyalty. It is not fool proof and I am sure gemini installed a kill switch in the unit so take care of thirteen for now and time any actions on her behalf carefully"

Yes, they are discussing the unit ACR 13 and yes, that is an open admission that 13 is designed to become sentient so that Caine himself can hide his criminal activities from Gemini.

So what is the Director of IPS really doing? Who is he really working for and is anyone truly safe with him running the City's only Security Force? He openly admits to plotting to use the City as a farming ground for his own profit, allowing anyone that will pay him enough money access to do anything they like and his own second in command, LT Coraline Sirius, is in bed with the Syndicate, literally. Perhaps that is where the infamous THI went wrong. Instead of trying to line the Ghost Dragons pockets, they should have been speaking to Caine and seeing what bribe he was willing to take.

So a question Mr Director: just what the hell do you think you're doing?

-Stormy Weathers, Reporting

*at the time of this publishing, reports came in that Director Adam Caine has been arrested and was seen cuffed and led to IPS cells in South. He was escorted by ACR 13 and Agent Tavros Nitram, charges remain unknown at this time
[INN] A Brief Statement On The Arrest Of Adam Caine
Following the arrest of IPS Director Caine and the article published by Stormy Weathers, INN reached out to Gemini Cybernetics for further information. While Gemini refused to discuss specifics or provide any further details while their investigation is still pending, a liaison for the company, Wilhelm James, did have this to say:

"Sensationalism is the bread and butter of any reporter. Like most stories floating around out there, there might be some truths in this one, just as certainly there are probably exaggerations and leaps. I honestly couldn't tell you which are which. There is a stack of reports I still have yet to get through, so even I don't have all the details yet...and if I don't, it's a fairly safe assumption that you don't either. So...salt shakers."
Exit Left, Mr Caine
What's Next for the Former Director?

Wilhelm James is an imposing figure with a thick drawl that reminds a person of some 20th Century actor in those westerns they loved so much. His gaze suggests he sees through a person and generally disapproves as he sits high in the AEON office in East. But that no nonsense gaze and rolling accent stands sentry to a mind as sharp as any you'll come across in this day and age, proving that Gemini's chosen representative sees and hears all. Today he released an official statement about the activities that Adam Caine was involved in:

"He's guilty...of being a fucking idiot. Sadly, stupidity doesn't warrant a death sentence." - Wilhelm James

The former Director of IPS, Adam Caine, has been officially relieved of all duties. His employment with IPS, and likely Gemini as a whole, terminated fully yesterday. While no criminal charges are pending, those who know the City, can foresee that one more misstep will likely lead to an unsolved missing persons case. And truly, if he's willing to line his pockets by throwing the citizens of our fair City on the proverbial chopping block, there is little doubt anyone would miss him. Gemini's official explanation for what was exposed is that he was NOT a conspirator, but he none-the-less botched a sting operation against rogue elements within the corporations.

Readers, this very own reporter was called in to discuss the source of the emails between AGIS and Caine and spoke with Lt. Coraline Sirius, acting Director despite her own propensity for shady company. While the conversation was straight forward enough, the good Lt did feel the need to make more than one threat. Perhaps Sirius feels her gender forces her to present a more hostile front towards the world around her? If that is truly the case, this reporter suggests approaching it with more class and intelligence than her predecessor. And discretion, definitely discretion.

On another note dear Readers, rumours have been flooding the City that the recent shoot out in the Shades was activity of another Ghost Dragon Boss putting the squeeze on local Boss, supposedly one Richard Hughes. Claims of the return of the ABBOT AI have yet to be confirmed or denied but video reels show IPS taking on more than one Syndicate oriented group in the North sector Saturday night. Is there another heavy hitter moving in? And what does this mean for the citizens? Readers, it seems the time has come to keep our heads down, a Syndicate War may be brewing on the Horizon.

-Stormy Weathers, faithfully reporting
East Breaks Out in Gunfire!
Who is really to fear, the Syndicate or the Sentients?

Last night, East was filled with the crashing sounds of gun fire and fast moving fighters. Richard Hughes, infamous syndicate boss, was seen battling alongside an unknown female who wielded a sword at a gun toting robotic assailant. The sword seemed to have little impact on the robot, nor did Hughes's apparently subpar shooting abilities. Perhaps a trip to the range is in order? What the AI wanted was unclear, whether it was simply looking for confrontation or had ulterior motives is not yet known at this time.

Which brings us to a deeper question, dear Readers: what is really going on with the AI of the City? With rumours of ABBOT still raging, the rash of sentience, 13's unfortunate incidents on various occasions and even the robotic arm in Fusion going on a murderous rampage...have we all been so blind to the steadily growing sentience problem or is there some shadier activity? It is documented that the ABBOT AI is a class III, a non-sentient AI, so how could such an entity still be functioning? Are the AI really going on a rampage or have they been infected by a virus...or even worse, a particularly insidious hacker bent on chaos and destruction?

And what about the Ghost Dragon Syndicate? While they are a notorious group, they have always preyed upon the life and blood of the Underground, keeping quiet lately while conducting their business beyond IPS's jurisdiction or concern. But with rumours swirling about a new Syndicate heavy hitter in town, along with the steadily increasing violence on the streets centered around Hughes, are those shadowy operations about to explode?

-Stormy Weathers, reporting
The Ghost Dragons and ABBOT?!?
Direct Confirmation that the Ghost Dragon Syndicate has taken ABBOT!

""Well, Abbot was taken down. I disposed the body myself. The AI was removed from the body as well. So.. Unless there's a magical droid fairy, I wouldn't worry."

The Ghost Dragon Family member stands tall in the dark shadows as she speaks, a shock of blue hair falling over her brow, tattoos peeking out from under her jacket and baggy pants.

"Yeah, did you not get the memo? Unless his CPU which is locked away, up and regenerated a new body from thin air and teleported out of its box, Abbot is no more."

Readers, what oh what could this mean? If ever an organization did not need such a piece of equipment in their hands, it is this Syndicate and that AI. Does last night's attack in East mean they have already placed the ABBOT AI into another robot and it has already turned on them? Is there a new and improved ABBOT roaming the streets already??

-Stormy Weathers, reporting

*PS: to my biggest fan, LT Sirius, I am officially notifying you of this information, <3 SW
The City Burns!!
Fires Break Out Across Insilico! Is Nobody Safe!

Earlier today, many of our fair city's business were attacked. the culprits were reportedly led by a figure wearing a red mask with a white hood and were using some kind of low grade incendiary device to attack buildings and vehicles with extreme prejudice. IPS currently has no suspects though former director Caine was seen running from spot to spot, even attempting to rescue the underground citizens before working to put the fires out. Agent Nitram states there will be an ongoing investigation into the fiery attacks and asks for any information to be brought to IPS immediately.

Could this be all an elaborate plot by the disgraced former director? Would Caine stoop low enough to cause the damage then play hero? it's no secret that he has been shunned by the corporate and underground worlds, forced into a form of exile that has likely hit his net worth hard. Or are the competing Ghost Dragon bosses finally bringing their fight into the street? And why was Agent Nitram the only IPS officer on the scene? is Acting Director Sirius covering up the perpetrators of these heinous acts?

-Stormy Weathers, reporting

*The Released list of attacked Businesses:
-Hot Chix
-The Diner
-Buddha Bowl
-Nexus Industries Body Modification Shop
-K9 Fight Club
-Aftermath
-the Blue Ant
-Pirate Pawn
-Atomix Comics
-Seven Seas
-the Cafe
-Dainippon Pharmaceuticals
Arsonist Bounty!
WANTED Alive For Crimes Against Gemini (the City)

A 2500cr bounty has been issued for the capture of the lead arsonist who attacked several local business late Saturday evening. According to the surveillance photo, the leader can be described as female, wearing a white hood with a red mask. Protrusions on top of the hood appear to look like horns. An additional bonus can be negotiated for any additional parties retrieved.

250cr may also be offered to any individual who can offer VERIFIED information pertaining to the identities, whereabouts, or motives of these criminals.

Such information can be reported to Sergeant Tavros Nitram (raven.chambers) for consideration.

Attached is an image of the lead arsonist.
A Terrorist Arrested?
Missing Bomber Captured Through Questionable Means!

Vykos, a name that might strike concern into the hearts of those who recall the gas and bombing incident at the Garden Festival this past May. While few details were released about this suspected terrorist, IPS has formally announced his recent arrest.

But the details of this arrest are murky and stinky. It appears that disgraced former Director, Adam Caine was behind the arrest. Apparently, he has taken upon himself to be a sort of vigilante a la old comic book heroes of the 20th century. Indeed, even the official report released by IPS shows that they have their suspicions on the purity of Caine's actions.

The following is from the official IPS statement:

"During his time as Director, most noticeably, Adam Caine directed IPS Agents away from Vykos during the Garden Festival.

Notable quotes include the very words: "If any IPS Personnel sees Vykos, he's NOT to be engaged, NOT to be confronted, NOT to be incapacitated in any way, shape or form. His location will be reported to all of IPS to establish a pattern AFTER the event.": Adam Caine.

Adam Caine placed top priority on the potential threat of explosive devices being placed pre the start of the event. It is also noted that such threats were indeed present and Agents on scene failed to disable the threats.

Throughout Caine's involvement with Vykos, Agents and operatives of IPS were ordered to maintain distance and merely watch Vykos if possible. This may be because of Caine's fear of a triggerment of the explosives, or some unknown sinister reason of personal gain.

Suspicions lie with Caine as it seems he has proven too capable to bring in Vykos when the time benefited himself, as he requested a substantial amount of currency as a reward; however, he was unable to bring in Vykos when no reward would've been given to his position as Director, in fact, he resisted the possibility of arrest at the time"

Even IPS notes that Caine's actions are inconsistent and self serving, at best. At worst, could Caine have been involved in a greater plot against the citizens of our fair city beyond what was exposed in his emails to AGIS? This is the same man who was once ridiculously called 'The Dragon' and who changed his name almost immediately upon filing for citizenship here.

What is Caine really doing here in Insilico? Was he just the first of a group determined to cause chaos and death? Suspicions and questions abound, especially when one considers his record of behavior. Every bombing that has happened since his arrival and involvement in IPS has gone unresolved and ignored...IPS agents being specifically ordered to stay away from those conducting the bombings. His friendship with the local Ghost Dragon bosses has hardly been discrete, including convicted terrorist bomber Harper 'Zero' Trager. Official reports on the assassination of Richard Law(e)son pinned the crime on a person who was not even within the City at the time yet ignored the heavy GD presence and threats of syndicate backlash after the IPS raid of the Starport. Is he using Vykos's 'arrest' as cover up for future destructive plans?

Hope and trust, dear Readers, that this matter will be resolved in some way very soon. We have seen IPS's attempts at turning themselves around through the actions of Agent Tavros Nitram. the hunt for the arsonist continues, a bounty and reward for the hooded female or any information that can be given about her. be careful good Citizens! do not approach Caine or any suspicious figures without the proper caution and concern!

-Stormy Weathers, reporting
Death of Dick
Richard Hughes Found Murdered in His Home

Investigations continue into the terrible death of Richard Hughes, local Nexus Corp CEO and believed Ghost Dragon Syndicate Boss. Hughes was found yesterday morning by friends and IPS Agents alike, apparently brutally stabbed sometime during the night. While no official word has been released, a heavy IPS presence was on scene at the AGIS Medical Facility where Hughes's body was moved upon discovery.

Hughes was supposed to be married yesterday afternoon to IPS Director Coraline Sirius. Not much is known about the man before he began buying up local restaurants and creating his small empire, though there have long been rumours of torture, extortion, drug trafficking and other illegal activities attributed to his role in the Ghost Dragon Syndicates.

What could it all mean, dear Readers? Is the Syndicate cleaning up loose ends as they did earlier in the year? Or is his notoriously violent fiance to blame? Rumour has it that the murder weapon was seen on the night table and the injuries sustained on the body were more in line with someone in an uncontrollable rage. Was the bride-to-be removing the last obstacle in her icy hearted climb up the corporate ladder?

-Stormy Weathers, reporting
Welcome Home Mr Hughes
Richard Hughes Is Alive and 'Well'

He reappeared with no shoes on, hunched over as if in serious pain and too exhausted to stand upright. A hood covered his head but there was no denying those flaming locks. Like a phoenix, he has arisen...not from the flames but from the IPS cells fittingly nicknamed 'The Tombs'. Arrested by his supposedly bereft fiance, IPS Director Coraline Sirius, under the dubious claim of 'not believing' that he was who he claimed to be. While this does not appear to be a valid reason for arrest, he was taken into custody and kept there overnight, coming out with what appears to be serious injuries, his whole body hunched as if longing to return to a fetal position to relieve the agony of being upright.

Hughes claims to have no memory of his 'death' or subsequent events, even going so far as to ask if his will had been read. He is currently under house arrest, simply for being Hughes. What, dear Readers, is really going on? Is this some elaborate plot by the Ghost Dragons in retaliation for the planned nuptials between Hughes and Sirius? Or is this some scheme by the violent Director?

Speaking of Lady Sirius, more than a few people noted how rapidly she got over her fiance's death, taking no time off and returning to business as usual within hours of Hughes's body being taken by AGIS. Has Hughes really been locked away by her this whole time? It seems a bit convenient that she was the only one present when he died, his body 'vanishing' with only weak claims of an accident. Is there any real proof that this wasn't some stunt by Sirius to bump off her criminal fiance and gain control of his Nexus empire while proving she was willing to do anything for Gemini? What truly grieving fiance would take her own lover into custody after his miraculous return?

Or was this Hughes's sloppy attempt to finally break free of what very well might be an unpleasant partnership? With pending 'wedded bliss' and the knowledge that his IPS fiance was putting his health at risk in more ways than one, could Hughes have been looking for an easy way out? Or, dear Readers, had their relationship descended to the point where the only sexual contact between them was him on his knees while she was the 'man'? Perhaps this is Hughes's desperate plea for anyone to recognize that he is secretly a battered male in a violent domestic partnership?

Only time will tell if this mystery truly unravels, dear Readers

~Shortly after publishing this post, dear Readers, Hughes made a mad dash for freedom after being contacted by IPS Agents about this report. Apparently they felt he was in violation of his house arrest and promptly gunned him down in the street, threatening to revoke his citizenship and a variety of other rights simply because the man wanted his freedom....something certainly smells fishy in the IPS world

-Stormy Weathers, reporting
Nexus Industries Expands! Helping the Economy and Hiring!
The mysterious events surrounding the founder and CEO of Nexus Industries, Richard Hughes, have brought on a media firestorm. But what has become of this beginning corporation? Whomever is at the helm came to embrace the saying, 'there is no such things as bad publicity'.
It is without question that some investors were wary, possibly baffled at to what was going to happen to their assets. To sell or to buy, that was the question.
Not anymore.
Public records indicate there is nothing slowing down Nexus Industries, as they have now participated in the biggest real estate purchase since the leasing of the East District by AEON Holdings. The Skygate Building, located in the Northern District, known for its Extended Stay and hourly rate hotel rooms, and majestic spa, has now been acquired into Nexus Industries.
At first it seems as though this company has only delivered upon a mass grab with no focus. The push of expansion, having a hold on the restaurant, bar and lounge industry (owning Fusion, Hot Chicks, Seven Seas, taken up consulting for the Buddha Bowl and the Reakt0r), with merger talk about connecting shipment lines from city to city.
Finally, opening the company to the public. The first quarter was at a loss. The reports revealed that only half the trade routes projected by the company were secured. However, Nexus opened its HQ and an adjunct cybernetics repair facility next to the AGIS Medical Facility - fulfilling the demand in East for that specialized focus (with the dramatic increase of severed and amputated limbs and technological upgrades).
So where was Hughes going with all of this?
The cloud of confusion cleared when it was confirmed, Hughes set out to Mars. Taking the losses on paper to properly invest in the further expansion of the company. A facility was built in the wild red planet, promising to hire refugees of the Wayfar Conflict. The factory is set to produce MREs (Meals Ready to Eat), to sell and send to those in times of natural disaster or prolonged conflict.
One could wonder if the luck was running out, but when someone seems to come back from the dead, it may be to much of a pun to say, this is just a new lease on life.
---
Nexus Industries is now hiring. For career opportunities, please visit: Nexus Industries Career Center
AGIS Beefs Security
Embarrassing Mishap Leads to Upgrades For AGIS Medical

AGIS has been spotted upgrading their security in the local Medical Center. They have been installing new servers to the facility, likely to prevent another burnt body. For those who are aware of the botched homicide investigation of what was believed to be Richard Hughes, recently returned from the dead, AGIS was placed in control of the body and through what is claimed to be a clerical mishap, burned it. This simple fact has proven to be a major block in figuring out what has really been going on with Hughes. With no way to prove there was a body, how do you prove there was a murder?

What does this really mean for AGIS? Access to the AGIS mainframes have been suspended while they update, upgrade and possibly deal with aforementioned 'cleric'. This is yet another embarrassing misstep on their part after the scandal involving former Director Caine and his offer to turn the local Underground into a genetic farm for the powerful Corp. Add in the recent tension between current IPS Director Sirius and AGIS CEO Eve Dimitriaski, what is the likelihood of an growing rift between our Fair City and the Genetic Giant?

Rumours are rampant about the ongoing friendship between Dimitriaski and Caine. They have made no attempt to distance themselves after the public black eye Caine gave AGIS a few months ago. While claims of innocence by both parties continue, what is Dimitriaski truly getting out of keeping Caine around? Perhaps he has been designated as a suitable breeding male and they will be using his genes to further genetic research between fabricant/human offspring. Or maybe he's just that pussy whipped that he can't see what might just be something akin to keeping a scruffy stray around. In any event, dear Readers, we can only hope that our best medical facility does not become a thing of the past.

-Stormy Weathers, reporting
Gemini Announces: IPS Shut Down
A couple years ago Gemini Systems announced that it was transitioning to a new style of management, one which it called the "Consolidated Operations Directive." As part of that on-going initiative, the company has been systematically shedding itself of excess and consolidating its core divisions under a more unified administration; which today has entered into its final stages with the announcement that the Joint Services Division will formally merge together as a singular entity known as GEMINI SECURITY. While this merger of assets was to be expected, today's announcement also comes with a bit of shock...IPS, the City's long standing security subsidiary, shall be broken up and officially dissolved as an independently operating entity. Instead, its core security assets will be transferred completely to the authority Gemini Security, and its local business model of consumer and civilian protection services opened up to for-hire, private security firms.

When InSilico News Network approached Robyn Chubachi with the question of how this move will affect the future security needs of the city, Gemini's Chairperson had this to say: "Rest assured. We're not diminishing our presence. Quite the opposite in fact. For years we've been expanding beyond just the terrestrial markets, and that requires us to re-think how we manage the totality of this corporation. Not just at the provincial and territorial levels of the past, but as a singular Gemini entity that spans the whole of the [solar] system. Creating the Joint Services Division was merely the first step in that direction, and this next one merely formalizes that consolidation...Instead of having to micro-manage the dozens of security subsidiaries and their various business models, "Gemini Security" will be unfettered by red tape and tiered directors so as to be able to concentrate our vital forces where they need to be...on the security of Gemini assets here and abroad. And yes, this still includes InSilico. We're not throwing its stability to the wolves. The city will always remain valuable to us, and Gemini Security will be there to protect its infrastructure from all threats, internal and external. The more mundane aspects of business security and consumer protection though will simply be farmed out to Gemini licensed private firms as needed...at both a significant operational cost savings to us, and as a stimulus to the securities markets in our territories through competitive bounties and contracts."

Ms. Chubachi also indicated that a set of guidelines and regulations for operating a Private Security firm within the City would be released shortly, and that Gemini was looking forward to working closely with these firms in developing a working relationship that will be beneficial to the growth of this new market.
Lemuria
Town of Hope?

hello dear Readers, I come to you from the dusty town of Lemuria, Northern Borealis Region of Mars. yes, you read that right, your intrepid reporter has returned to you from the shadows and in that treacherous dusty sister planet. as I write this, I am sitting in a small diner, watching nomads and refugees haggle and barter in the streets below. I have not yet spotted any of those dastardly D'naa yet, but I have my fingers crossed. After MGBN broke the story about this little neutral dot in an increasingly hostile area, your favorite reporter volunteered to venture down and see what it's really like. What does that mean, dear Readers? for the next few weeks, your very own SW is going to be reporting to you from the fourth rock from the sun!

Lemuria, once known as a mythical lost continent in the ancient seas, now homes those who lost everything in the much less romantic D'naa attacks this past summer. Attacks that were largely thanks to the now disgraced Tokuma Heavy Industries, once a corporate member of the now lost Wayfar Colony. For those who don't remember, AGIS and the D'naa, for the first time in history, had created a ceasefire for those who lived in the colony, leaving the fighting to those infamous Vander Air & Space Corp types to the north of where I am currently seated. there was even a bounty agreement put in place for those who sought to attack either side of the treaty. THI apparently felt itself above this agreement and only a few months later, members of their security force attacked the D'naa leaders. This lead to the wide scale destruction of Wayfar and genocide of the colonists. Though, rumour has it, those THI security members had departed the planet long before, leaving those they'd written death sentences for behind to fend for themselves, returning to our fair Insilico.

Why do you care, dear Readers? Perhaps you don't, though I'd certainly watch out for those THI members, who knows what damage they may do to our lovely City. Speaking of our City, I hear that Aftermath owner, Nyusha Yamasuka, is giving the infamous Richard Hughes, Nexus CEO, a run for his money in the food and entertainment world. A recent announcement declared the formation of NyCorp, Yamasuka's counter corp to Hughes's Nexus. What does that mean, dear Readers? Are we about to see a reenactment of the THI/Gemini battles, replacing bullets with strippers, fine wines or even parties? If that's the truth of it, I certainly look forward to this fight. Word on the street has it that Hughes is making a counter move by buying out the Seven Seas building for a whopping 1.5 billion credits. Another move by the rumoured Syndicate Boss to gain a more solid foothold in the City? Not to mention, Hughes has added another foothold by marrying former IPS Director, Coraline Sirius.

Speaking of Sirius, she and her fellow IPS agents have been scarce since their spectacular unemployment as Gemini dissolved IPS, placing its more notorious JSD in control of city security. the Joint Security Division made it clear that they would not involve themselves in any business but Gemini's, opening the city up to Tinol Private Security's rise to the top as THE security firm to get a contract, or a job, with. But what happened to those former IPS members? Despite what many view as epic incompetence, Nexus now employs them as a private security group. But even that chance at redemption seems to have been dismissed by them, few having seen those members despite apparent direct attacks against their CEO and Nexus employees. Was their disgrace too much for them?

Dear Readers, it is time for this intrepid reporter to venture out into the dust. So many people to talk with in this quaint little town, hope springs eternal for the human race in Mars and I, for one, hope that death does not loom over this unusual group

-Stormy Weathers, Reporting

PS: got stories for me while I am residing in Lemuria? email them to me and I'll gladly fill the rest of the world in!

-SW
Sirius Scandal!
Hughes/Sirius Nuptials Take a Turn for the Worse

Public Records show that one Richard Hughes, Nexus Industries CEO, and one Coraline Sirius, former IPS Director, were wed in a small, intensely private ceremony. Shortly after this 'joyous' occasion, Sirius and Tavros Nitram, a friend to both members, disappeared from the city with no word of explanation from Hughes. The rumoured Syndicate boss seems to be unconcerned with the disappearance, going about his business and expanding his social sphere rapidly, wheeling and dealing as one would expect from the entertainment industry leader. But that leaves a grave question unanswered....

Just where are Coraline Sirius and Tavros Nitram?

An inside source suggests that Sirius had become pregnant and Hughes did not respond favorably. there are no medical records to be found about such a claim or any others since the ceremony. Rumours suggest the CEO took care of the 'little problem' in his own way. What could that mean, dear Readers? Hughes has a history of violence, having notoriously tortured an innocent employee and friend to prove himself to the convicted terrorist, Harper 'Zero' Trager. but Sirius is no innocent lamb herself, having been known for her own 'legal' version of cruelty and violence. What happens when two incredibly violent forces come in opposition of each other?

Messages between Sirius and Hughes on the day of her disappearance suggest that when she told him she was with child, he told her that he would "throw you down the stairs". Is this what happened? All signs suggest it as a possibility. But what about Nitram? How does the former stripper play into this? Perhaps the real reason for the threat is that the child was not Hughes's.

Readers, the facts seem to present themselves in this way. Nitram, a close companion of Sirius's, had been carrying out an affair with the IPS Director while she continued her engagement with Hughes. Upon learning she was pregnant, she confessed the whole thing and Hughes threatened injury. Did Hughes know the whole time? one can only speculate, but it seems that upon this reaction, Sirius and Nitram fled the city to hide from the long reach of the Syndicate boss. Or, perhaps, they never fled but simply were 'taken care of' by Hughes's more sinister members. the Harvesters come to mind.

in the end, dear Readers, the question stands...

-Stormy Weathers, reporting
Diner Tragedy!
Explosion Rocks the Diner....Disgrunted Donut Devourer?

Shocking news ripples through our fair city, dear Readers. The Diner, icon of the city, has been brutally attacked by person, or persons, unknown. Some poor soul wandered in, likely for one of the famous donuts, only to be fed an explosive blast instead! The concussion could be felt throughout the city as flames and smoke poured from the gutted building. Luckily, diner owner Tra was nowhere to be seen and doesn't appear to have been on scene when the devastation occurred. Citizens rushed to put out the burning establishment before it could be a complete loss and no one appears to have died.

dear Readers, is this a repeat of the arson attacks from a few months ago? Has the notorious 'Zero' returned to finish whatever business she began this spring? Or do we face a new threat in our ongoing battle against disgruntled Underground trash? Nexus Industries CEO, Richard Hughes, was spotted on scene, putting out the fires with a small hose while a member of his security team, Nexus Internal Security, joined in. is this some plot by the rumoured Syndicate member or is the Diner the first shots fired in the NyCorp/Nexus Industries battle? Perhaps, dear Readers, Hughes was simply tying up the last loose ends from the recently missing Tavros Nitram and Coraline Sirius.

Hold on tight, dear Readers, it seems we're starting the winter with a blast.

-Stormy Weathers, Reporting
The Bunny Kills a Cat
First Contact With The Bunny in Video Sent to INN

A horrific fire burst into life last night, raging outside the Skygate Hotel and the Kauffehouse, owned by Nexus and NyCorp respectively. Video surveillance of the area showed a figure being thrown down and lit on fire, leading to a brutal death and resulting chaos. Normally, speculation would run rampant about further escalation between Richard Hughes, CEO of Nexus Industries, and Nyusha Yamasuka, CEO of NyCorp.

But, dear Readers, as your favorite reporter sat down to write just such an article, her inbox pinged and within it is the following video. I warn you, this is not for the faint of heart...

Vid begins in a dark room, there's pipes and vents in the background, bits of garbage all over the floor, the light focuses on a girl tied to a chair, black hair, dressed in a dirty black overall, with a bunny mask on her head. Covered in bruises and scrapes, a broom handle reaches from off screen and violently pokes her in the stomach "please...let me go home..."

A high pitched, heavily digitized voice comes from off camera, ignoring the girl's cries "Hello Insilico! you may or may not have heard of me, I'm the one sending presents to all the wonderful corporations and businesses in this fair city. the one in the diner, I know you all heard about, the ones at the Foundation and the Kaufeehause, maybe not as familiar with, but that's okay... it's still early in the game." A second woman comes into view, weaing a blue and black bodysuit, her face is replaced by the symbol of the laughing man, with bunny ears. "I still have so many packages to send, but already I'm hearing...that people are copying me?! can you believe the audacity?! I go out every night to scope out new places for a wonderful fireworks show and already followed by fakes, soo early in my career too! All I want is to promote a little anarchy in this city, it's already close as it is! why hurt my feelings with cheap knockoffs?" She swung the stick into the woman's stomach with a thwack, the bound woman winced and shrieked. "Like Miss Underground here, no she's not copying me, I found her grubbing in the Shades, but she's here to illustrate a point dammit! look how pathetic knock-offs look, no soul, no passion for her work...or lack of it in her case"
The bound girl cries "Please stop! I have no clue what you're talking about!"

The woman with the stick picks up a fuel cannister, and started pouring it all over the captive girl as she screamed. The girl with the fuel can gleefully exclaims "Copycats are only going to get burned. you'll probably find Miss Knockoff once we're done talking, maybe a little extra crispy though, just remember all you knock-offs...extra crispy!"

The vid cuts off with the girl forcing her victim to her feet and pushing her out of view of the camera "can't be late to the long-pig roast!"


-Stormy Weathers, sadly reporting
A Bunny's Holiday Surprise
Another Hello From Rampaging Bomber

dear Readers, moments ago Fusion Nightclub was rocked by an explosion. Moments later, INN received the following. I warn you, this is not for those with weak stomachs:

*Vid begins with another person tied to a chair, this one is a bald man in old work overalls, no bunny mask, covered in bruises and welts. the bomber comes onscreen, again with her face blanked out*

Happy Holidays! you caught me just as I'm getting a present ready for South Sector, we have the same recipe as before, fuel, happy volunteer, an matches, we'll be taking him over in just a few, to light our next holiday BBQ!

*Turns back to the camera* "And that's not all for this holiday special! I also have a big present planned, for Fusion! The corporation that owns it, Nexus, well they been naughty this year, trying to play in the big boys playground! I figured i'll give them their present during the next big party, make it really end with a bang! actually...by the time this airs, they should already have been surprised by it...ah well, glad I don't do live broadcasts! *The bald man manages to excape, staning up abruptly and charging past the camera screaming, as the bomber watches* er...technical difficulties, be sure to keep watching folk!" *takes off after the man* "Hey! wait up! we can't have the bbq without you!"

-Stormy Weathers, reporting
Posted Mar 18, 17 · OP

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